I need an Apple whine. I need some grape wine too, but then that’s a constant state.

My Setup

MacBook Pro 15 inch 2017. High spec
iPad Pro 10.5
Apple Pencil 1st Generation
iPhone X
Apple Watch Series 3
AirPods 2nd Generation
AirPods 1st Generation


All devices are off-beta on the latest versions of operating systems, so iOS 13 and macOS Catalina.

The Whine

Every device functions less well than it did on the previous OS.

My MBP is slow. Horribly slow. Months into the upgrade cycle, it is still trying to get all its ducks in a row with cloud services. I’m not smart enough to work out exactly what’s going on, but photos and notes are always “working” and never fully synchronised. Various 3rd party services that worked flawlessly in the past, now intermittently fail. Apple Mail is so dreary, I’ve gone off into 3rd party land again. Apple Watch unlocks the MBP, sometimes. One time yes, one time no.

The iPad Pro and iPhone have the same struggles with photos and notes. Almost every day, something stops working for no apparent reason. Usually, the something starts again at a later date. Again – I don’t know what’s causing what.

My second generation AirPods do weird charging stuff. This morning, the left pod was 100% charged, the right one 1%. Maybe I did something? Who knows, it all seems OK now.

The HomePod. This device relies on Siri. Like everything else that works on Siri, it works properly so seldom, that it’s best left alone. We essentially use it as a less-reliable, and vastly more expensive, radio.

The Reality Distortion Field

People used to talk about the ability of Steve Jobs to distort reality. It wasn’t him. We do it to ourselves.

Apple’s software isn’t working properly. For several years, its laptops have been fundamentally flawed, in that the keyboards are insufficiently robust. Its artificial intelligence/voice activation is garbage.

The most expensive IT stuff in the market and none of it works as intended.

And yet, the share price is firm, and the revenues enormous. Why?

Stockholm Syndrome

Apple release a new laptop, that APPEARS, so far, to have a keyboard that, you know, works. Like bullying victims ignored for one day by the bully, we all smile, and tell each other that things are on the up. Even though we’re not buying the new laptop, we bathe in the halo from its release.

The Cartel of Mediocrity

Apple should now be being demolished by the competition. Their overpriced hardware is not fit for purpose and is made unreliable and unusable by software that is either entirely untested before release, or has been tested by hamsters. Apple Users should be flocking to Google or Microsoft. They can’t be this bad.

Ah. Well. Actually…


Apple has sold me goods that are not fit for purpose – the MBP with inadequate keyboard. It has charged me large sums of money for hardware (everything else), which it has then rendered unreliable with recommended operating system upgrades.

What will they do about it?

Release a new top end computer that costs the same as a car — that won’t work as advertised because the operating system is crap.


Sort yourselves out Apple.