Living the Dream


Scary. Blimey. No wonder I'm feeling glum.

Things that go bump in the night

The silence of the night was shredded by a crash. Cymbals? Window? What? The dogs were upright, ears cocked. Mrs L exclaimed “What was that?” The star of the show however, was me. I rolled from the bed, grabbing my trusty five iron and standing in one movement.

Reaction Times

Apocryphally, Cypriots never used to indicate lest doing so would deplete the battery. Now, it seems that somebody has announced that mobile phones only work when driving a car.

The Third Carolean Era

Market reaction was muted. (Mostly, this would be because most of “the market” were enjoying a long, mostly liquid, lunch. It was a Friday, after all.) However, as people digested the measures being taken, the pound plummeted and yields on gilts soared.

Battling the Algorithm

Unbeknownst to me, I had awoken a giant compliance machine. While I went about the rest of my task list, flags were being raised, transactions reversed and “stops” put in place.

The Queen is Dead

I, am of the Elizabethan age, a seventy year reign from the 1950’s to the 2020s. All of a sudden, it feels as though everything has changed.

Make mine a sparkling water.

“Hangxiety”, an unadvertised joy of the heavy drinker, the stress and fear of having absolutely no idea what was said, what was done, by whom, to whom, for a large portion of the evening. I've struggled through days, feeling crap, producing nothing but a series of bad smells.

Living the Dream: A dog is just a dog

Bigger dogs come bounding at Charlie, teeth bared and growling. He stands, silent and neutral, as unflustered as a tiny canine Chuck Norris. He’s a born anger diffuser.
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