The Island Way

Cyprus has always been the plaything of empire. The Republic of Cyprus was established in 1960 after a five year insurgency. From 1925, the island had been a Crown Colony after 9 years "under military occupation" since the outbreak of the First World War, in 1914. From 1878 to 1914, Cyprus was a British Protectorate, having been handed over by the Ottoman Empire as part of the Great Game. (The Ottomans wanted British support should the Russian Empire get frisky.) Still following?

If you go back further, not much changes, Persians, Egyptians, even the Italians have a go at being emperors.

Now - the Greeks and the peoples living in what we now call Turkey have had a tempestuous relationship since a fellow called Odysseus got clever with a wooden horse at Troy. So initially the Cypriots welcomed the Brits - perhaps hoping to learn the nuances of cricket and high teas. Eventually, though, they expressed a desire to be "one with Greece", or "Enosis". An armed insurgence finally led to the island gaining its independence, a status to be guaranteed by Greece, Turkey and the UK.

Things got complicated, as many Cypriots were still devoted to the idea of Enosis. However, a sizeable minority of Turkish-speaking Cypriots found this idea downright scary. The island began to split.

In 1974 the Cypriot National Guard (almost exclusively Greek-speaking) launched a coup d'état, with the expressed intention of bringing enosis to fruition. The coup was supported by the military junta that had just taken power by force in Greece. The government of Turkey responsed with an airborne invasion of the north of the island, leading to the division that persists to this day. The Brits largely stood by, presumably barking "I say", a lot.

Cyprus was therefore smaller, (around one third remains occupied by Turkey) but free of foreign overlords. Ironically, it all felt a little strange, and so having cast off roughly eleven thousand years of oppressors, Cyprus joined the EU in 2004.

As a consequence, Cyprus has layer upon layer of imperial bureaucracy now seasoned by the body of regulation that comes with EU membership. It's a miracle that anything gets done.

My observation is that modern Greek Cypriots hold laws, regulations and rules as the manifestation of one invader or another and therefore not to be taken overly seriously, and mostly ignored.

So it is, that having been given an appointment to trade my UK driving licence for a Cypriot one in Ocotber, I now have a Cypriot driving licence in early June.

I considered talking you through the entire laborious process, but even I was bored.

I was shepherded from office to office by my contact who greeted people in every corridor and was then handed a temporary licence with my definitive one to follow in a couple of weeks.

Is this corruption? No. No bribes were paid. No money has changed hands.

In Cyprus, if you need something from the government machine, you don't go online. You go to the coffee shop. You ask around. You find someone, who knows someone. It's much quicker.

Next - let me talk to you about town planning, Cyprus-style. Oh you lucky people!