No Personality

Unless this is the first time you have read my blog, then you will know that at the end of October I’m doing a sponsored walk. There's still time to sponsor us ;-)

Deb’s husband, Allan, and my wife Margaret have been working hard to raise money through a raffle. Sourcing prizes, and selling tickets. Thankless tasks, both.

“Go on! Get something from the Mukhtar!” I urged. He was sat at a neighbouring table in our local restaurant.

“No. I will let them finish eating first.” Mrs L respects boundaries.

It turns out that our Mukhtar was entertaining Phedon Phedonos, Mayor of Paphos, from the neighbouring district. The Mayor didn’t want to buy any tickets. In fact, he didn’t want to hear about tickets. He explained to my wife and the rest of his table how “entitled and without personality” she was for coming to his table to offer him tickets.

There are always knock-backs in sales. People have the right to say no, and to request that they be left alone. Mrs L took the rebuke, apologised and left the table to it.

I was, and am, furious. I suspect that had I been pitching, Mayor Phedonos would have chosen different words. He chose to bully and insult my wife. Why? I don’t know. His use of the word “entitled”, and the context in which he used it, may have been linked to the occasion. October the first is the date Cyprus celebrates gaining independence from Britain in 1960. Mrs L is a native English-speaker, and the Mayor may have assumed she was British.

Even if she were, would that be a reason to insult her? She wasn’t born when Cyprus won its independence. I cannot know the intention of his remarks, but they certainly came across as crass, casual, bullying misogyny. Cyprus deserves better from its elected officials.

What it did highlight to me though, is how much I owe my wife.

Nobody enjoys cold-calling. Nobody revels in rejection. Highly-paid, hungry sales people have to rev themselves up to put themselves out there. Mrs L approached every table - regardless of nationality for no pay and no reward. Mostly, people are happy to buy a few raffle tickets to support a Cancer Charity. Sometimes, they are not. Rarely, they are graceless and boorish like Mayor Phedonos.

I have no doubt that such an insulting, unwarranted rebuke was hurtful. Yet I know, she will continue to sell tickets, raising as much money as possible to help people struggling to deal with cancer.

In the seven years that we have lived in Cyprus, Margaret has been the first line of support for two women who were ultimately killed by cancer. Not for payment, not for praise, but out of compassion and care.

I know how lucky I am to have married such a wonderful woman.

No personality? With judgement like that, I’d be surprised if Mayor Phedonos can run a bath, let alone a city.

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